Page Four: Remarks 151-200
You Drank What? - Lady Miss Tree and Ivory
LMT: Who has a bad, BAD hangover after too many cheap champagnes and cocksucking cowboys on a school night.
Ivory: So you were out on the town with the Village People again huh? Naughty naughty girl. Daddy spank.
ASCII Gone Spoggly - Lady Miss Tree and Bill2
LMT: [insert graphic of spoggly, swirly, hypnotised Mute eyes]
B:To quote Harvey: @_@
Talking With Your Mouth Full - Loz, Colt and Lady Miss Tree
Loz: I was thinking that. I was wondering if everyone was having a Tim Tam orgy at Miss Tree's and I hadn't been invited...
C: <Hiding suspicious looking brown plastic wrapping behind his back, voice curiously muffled>
Mo! Mot Me, Momest! Mo Mimpmams mere!
MoltLMT: [looks up, startled, with a mouthful of Tim Tam and a thingie boi wrapped around her] Wha...? Did your parents never tell you about speaking with your mouth full? Now spit him out and continue...
You Tart! - Anonymous and Lady Miss Tree
Anon: You aren't related to the Sequential Tarts are you? ;-)
LMT: I'm much more of a Sequintial Tart.
Photo albums on ThingieClub - Lady Miss Tree, Rachel Rosenblum and Loz
LMT: Oooooh! Look at the pretty shiny thing!
R: Where? I want to see the pretty shiny thing, too!
Loz: I think I can see a new category of pictures;
Pictures of Neil.
Pictures of Thingies.
Pictures of Neil with Thingies.
Pictures of Shiny Things.
Soylent Green Is Thingies - Kitsune and Colt
K: My brother will go Soylent Green with envy when I tell him that....
C: And are you going to eat him...?
A Bizarre Proposal - Loz and Colt
L: On the other hand, my computer did propose to me last week...
C: How roMANtic! Did you accept???
Colt, who likes to be best man, unless you want a best G4...L: <sob> It's a tragic story. I did, but then it crashed. It now thinks it's a East German figure-skater from 1974 who is trying to defect to the West. That wouldn't be so bad except I have to put it in the freezer if I want it to work. I'm planning on suing Bill Gates for emotional distress. And hypothermia.
Oubliette - Reg and Madame Melpomene
R: I felt it was time to post in case anyone >thought Mel had locked me in her oubliette to keep for always.
M: Thptptpt. I don't have an oubliette. Gawsh! What are they going to think of me if you tell them that?
It's a *dungeon*. Just a simple little dungeon.
Oubliette.
Hmpf.
Certifiable Thingies - bafog1, Ravenscroft and Sheri
b: The Lady Miss Tree is an excellent house guest and a certifiable entertainer. ;-P
R: "Certified", shirley? Then again....
b: I read over the words several times before posting.-
MM & the ME, we're all certifiable here. I'm certifiable. You're certifiable.... ;-PS: <nods head visciously, or viscously, or viscerally...whatever...>
<now giggles a lot>
Ah, the first day of spring in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
<puts on boots>
<scarf>
<leather jacket>
<trenchcoat>
<gloves>
<walks forth into fresh snowfall>
<trudges through -13 C>|
Gonna kill that damn gopher...
A New Exorcist - Colt and Scott Conner
C: <gargling noises as green foam is forming around my mouth, ruining your carpet, then I suddenly speak Latin backwards and my eyes turn white>
S: New Spice Girls CD in the player?
Badass Package - Madame Melpomene and Loz
M: Mel, Who is lucky she has Shira's badass package to amuse herself with (thank you so much love...it is perfect).
L: I've worked out about four different ways that statement can be interpreted...
Reg (who once based a university English paper on this summary):
"Scene: Battlements; Night
Enter Macbeth.
End" -Macbeth, the <G> rated version.
Automotive Clothiers, Inc. - Loz and JAC
L: Really, are you planning a car boot sale? I could do with a little weirdness, just so long as it isn't of an unpleasant flavour.
JAC: ach. first the have bras, now they have boots? what is this, the automotive fashion show?
Hellblazer Cookies - Bala Manon and bafog1
BM: "Rake at the Gates of Hell" runs through Hellblazer #78-83. #80 and #83 have the bulk of the explanation of the Triumvirate.
b: Nothing to do with the thread, but some of you might find it amusing that I first read that as "Bake at the Gate of Hell".
BM: Devil's food cake ? :-)
Official Nekkid Jesus - Ivory and sparrow
I: No no no, settle down children. I am the new Christ. I am the official nekkid Jesus of the new millenium. I have all patents and copyrights so don't mess with the nekkid son of God! :)
s: so if someone else wanted to be the clothed son of god that wouldn't interfere with copyright?
i: Who cares about a clothed son of God? That's been done before. A nice nekkid son of God all oiled down and glistening is much more appealing and much better for nekkid crisco twister.
LMT: I have chronic Sallyitis!
Tree as Haiku - Kitsune and Lady Miss Tree
K: Miss Tree lives in Oz
Its hard work with chocolate
Tim Tams in a boxLMT: I got haikued!
Cloning Christ - Rachel Rosenblum and Loz
R:Clone a new Christ, huh? How do you know I'm not the new Christ myself?
L: Sorry, I automatically assume that anyone that posts here bats for the other team ;-)
R: Oh...well, you're probably right, I just don't like people making assumptions about me. However, the cloning seems to be coming along quite nicely.
L: I think the Jesus in vat 3 needs more tequila
On the Naming Of Vehicles - Cassie
my car is named after an 800 year old spanish vampire. who exists only because 7 or so people agree she does, often on saturday afternoons.
Radioactive Ass - Madame Melpomene and Colt
M: Really. I swear...
C: Cross your heart and swear to be bitten by radioactive fireflies...?
(Yeah, sure IŽd like to see your ass glow. Heh)M: "And for this season's hottest look, Model Mel will now display her glowing, radioactive ass."
Thank the powers for prison colonies :)
If you want I could come over there and kill you now to save you from this hideous fate.
waitasec, 'kill'... 'save'... I'm sure there's a flaw in my logic there somewhere but I just can't see it...
Ladylike Language - Lady Miss Tree and Mute
LMT: Buggery buggering bollocks.
M: Isn't she ladylike?
Hangover Regrets - Lady Miss Tree and Ivory
LMT: Who has a bad, BAD hangover after too many cheap champagnes and cocksucking cowboys on a school night.
Ivory: So you were out on the town with the Village People again huh? Naughty naughty girl. Daddy spank.
Nads and Wankers - Anonymous and Lady Miss Tree
Anon: Well, in England, 'Nads' are short for Gonads, or testicles, so the idea of you having some in your bathroom cabinet... It's a bit like the transatlantic confusion over 'Fanny', or the Norweigan [?] soft drink called 'crap'...
LMT:Don't worry, Nads means the same thing over here. Which is why we sell it to the 'Merkins. It's a bit like a brand of beer we were marketing over there a couple of years ago called Wanker. The catchphrase...?
LMT: "I feel like a Wanker..."
My Life As A Completeist - Madam Melpomene and Scott
M: Hm...perhaps it doesn't qualify as a parody, but Teri S. Wood used to do a comic strip called "The Cartoonist" in which she poked fun at some of her favorite comic books, including Sandman. It was recently collected with an introduction by Neil.
S: Oh, so *YOU'RE* the other person that bought a copy ; )
For The Love Of Groundhogs - Harvey Lee
Ah, the first day of spring in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
<puts on boots>
<scarf>
<leather jacket>
<trenchcoat>
<gloves>
<walks forth into fresh snowfall>
<trudges through -13 C>
Gonna kill that damn gopher...
On The Topic Of Shira As Jailbait - PugUgly and NightWalker
P: not that it matters to me... as I'm married... but you're officially not jailbait with that birthdate.
NW: Actually, according to the super-useful website www.ageofconsent.com ... at 15, Shira is only non-jailbait in Colorado, Missouri, South Carolina, and Iowa... with parental consent, and in Hawaii of her own consent. I love that website.
Thingies Young And Old - shira and Ivory
shira: (born Nov. 09 1986)
I: Aww damn you you lil bugger! I feel old enuff already and then you post your birthdate. My god girl that's the year I graduated! Get thee back in the womb fetus girl :P
Good Qualities To Possess - Loz
One of these days I must really develop some willpower...
I also need a longer attention sp- Ooh! Feet!
Newbies As Virgin Sacrifices - PugUgly
So... where do us virgin sacrifices go to read the questionaires that you vet's have filled out?
...it's a veritable[0] goldmine; for better or worse...
[0] - Originally spelled "verytitable"; must... not... be... distracted...; must... resist... freudian jokes...
Gods Vs. Cods - Lance "Squiddie" Smith and Daniel Reid
L: I like to think everyone is reading the American Cods journal already,
DR: I mean, okay, calling oneself "Squiddy" is one thing, but this is taking the piscine angle (angling ?() a bit *too* far.
Specialized Floor - Terje Bless and Mute
T: ROTLF! :-)
M: You have a special floor just for laughing? That's so cool! ;)
Brief Lives A La Gilbert And Sullivan - Reg, PugUgly and Lance "Squiddie" Smith
R: I thought it was Patience, thy name is a Gilbert and Sullivan musical.
P: I am the very model of a modern major general.....
L: I always thought that Brief Lives could be put to Gilbert and Sullivan.* The furthest I got was (and I'm sure I've posted this before):
L: I am an eldest Endless and my sister is Delirium
My skin is white, my clothes are black and dreams are my imperium
But It's Not Because I Was Sick - Mute
Oh yeah. I didn't get to sleep until after 6am. Most of that due to illness, not being out on Oxford St with a feathery halo and fairy wings.
I used to wear my beliefs on my sleeve. I used to get asked about them alot. I always responded by saying that my cat sicked-up that morning.
ObGoth - Lance "Squiddie" Smith
obGoth: Seen on a T-shirt - "If you're a Goth, why aren't you out sacking Rome?"
Tim Tams As A Useful Distraction - NightWalker and Loz
NW: Prolly Garth, my evil twin. He's the one without the beard.
L: Hmmm, drop your trousers and I'll tell you if you've got a 'Goliath' too...
L: Hmm, if that wasn't the name of his super-truck then I'm in big trouble...
L: Probably too late... Oh well. How do I get out of this thread?
L: Ummmm...
L: Oh look over there, Tim-Tams!
Nothing To Do With A Kangaroo - Sally
Scrotums are great.
Destruction On A Surreal Plane - NightWalker, bafog1 and Loz
NW (.sig): * What happens if a big asteroid hits the Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.
b: Good Grievances, Walker! That has to be the most gross to date! Ew!
b: -MM & the ME, who merely destroys objectives, not frogs
L: And that's somehow better? Somewhere out there is a little objective who's Mum or Dad won't be coming home tonight, thanks to you...
Thingies As Yummy People - Natalie and Sarah Barmak
N: You people have good taste. :-)
S: Damn straight we do. And we stay crunchy in milk.
If Tree falls in the newsgroup and no one is there to read it, does she still make a sound?
Mouse of majesty, mouse of white,
Mouse I see in the pale moonlight.
I think I dream, I dream I might,
Softly behold, miss mouse so bright.
Nose a'twitching, her eyes alight,
She captivates my thoughts this night.
I think it's time, If I time it right,
To tuck our mouse, to bed tonight.There was a third stanza but it turned to crap. For those of you in a different bent,
There once was a couple named Kelly,
Locked together forever, belly to belly.
Because in their haste, they used Paper Paste
Instead of Petroleum Jelly
The Hypnotic Powers Of Things Shiny - Loz and Tree
L: <dangles shiny thing in front of Tree>
LMT: [follows the shiny thing with her eyes, then tentatively starts patting at it before springing at it with both hands, landing on her arse and then immediately beginning to groom herself with a "What are you looking at, I did that on purpose!" look in her eye]
I hearby invoke an 'emergency Tuesday' as in the NG charter clause 42.23.5
And All The Thingies Put Colt Back Together Again - bafog1 and Colt
b:-MM & the ME, who luvses the Colt to pieces!
C: *SMASH*
C: Um, someone got a broom...?
C: Colt, fragmented
Anagrams As Personality Test - PugUgly and Lady Miss Tree
P: Should I be amused or disturbed that an anagram of my name is:
"A homo inane star."P: What does your name tell us?
LMT: And can you make haiku from them?
Sad times rely, dears.
Slim yet seedily smart. My
Lies stared, master yields.
Attn: Georgia Gaiman Fans - Patrick Marcel & Michael W. Dean
P: Just can't resist asking the question: "But who is Georgia Gaiman?"
MWD: She's Unca Neil's long lost southern belle cousin, who wrote the epic fantasy Nevah-was.