Page One (songs 1-15)
If you think some of the stuff you hear on the radio is something else, try letting the thingies get a hold of the tunes to manipulate to their own devices with a change of lyrics
Ivory and Mistletoe
Santa Stalker
Christmas Down Under
Hotel afn-g
12 Days of Thingiemas
Time Warp (a la Thingie)
Happy Birthday to Tree ('99)
Gaimananiacs Theme Song
Another song in VERY poor taste
The Cthulu Song
Harvey Lee Strip Tease
McKean and Gaim
Harvey "Shaft" Lee
Apologies to Jim Croce
Misunderstood Lyrics
Ivory and Mistletoe - Harvey Lee
I saw Ivory kissing Santa Claus,
Underneath the mistletoe Tuesday night.
I caught it all on tape,
And uploaded it to my web-site. ;-)
"He sees you when you're sleeping.
He knows when you're awake.
He know's when you've been bad or good......
Damn! Santa is a fucking stalker!"
Christmas Down Under - Lady Miss Tree
Dashing through the bush,
in a rusty Holden ute[1],
Kicking up the dust,
esky[2] in the boot[3]
Kelpie[4] by my side,
singing Christmas songs,
It's summer time and I am in
my singlet, shorts and thongs[5].Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia on a scorching summers day, hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.Engine's getting hot,
we dodge the kangaroos,
The swaggie[6] climbs aboard,
he is welcome too.
All the family's there,
sitting by the pool.
Christmas Day the Aussie way,
by the barbecue.Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia on a scorching summers day, hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden ute.Come the afternoon,
Grandpa has a doze.
The kids and Uncle Bruce,
are swimming in their clothes.
The time comes 'round to go,
we take the family snap,
Pack the car and all shoot through[7],
before the washing up.Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia on a scorching summers day, hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.1 Truck with a cab and tray at the back
2 Beer cooler
3 Trunk (not that a ute has one of those, but it rhymes)
4 Aussie cattle dog
5 FOOTWEAR! Not what you were thinking! ;P
6 Homeless person
7 Bugger off early
Hotel afn-g - Luna Vudu
On the info superhighway,
Cool sites and e-zines
Warm newsgroups on Usenet
Showing up on the screen
Up ahead on the search page,
I saw an interesting site
My mouse grew heavy and I clicked the link,
I'd read the Neil board tonight
There she posts with her adverbs
I saved the URL
I was thinking to myself:
"This could be Heaven or this could be Hell"
Then she posted some questions
In a welcoming thread
Other posters came to say hello
This is what they said:
"Welcome to the group alt.fan.neil-gaiman,
Such a lovely night (Such a lovely night)
Such a lovely site....
Plenty of room at the group alt.fan.neil-gaiman,
Any news you hear (Any news you hear)
You can post it here..."
Her mind is Gaiman-obsessive
She's got the Morpheus bends
She's got a lot of fantasies
About Neil and his friends
How they read in the bookstore,
Sweet Sandman books
Some read out of interest,
Some read 'cause they're hooked
So I wrote to the newsgroup,
"What's Neil doing now?"
They said: "He hasn't had a large new release,
Since Neverwhere came out."
But still there's messages coming
From out on the 'net
Signing on on the middle of the night
Just to read that thread:
"Welcome to the group alt.fan.neil-gaiman,
Such a lovely night (Such a lovely night)
Such a lovely site....
Plenty of room at the group alt.fan.neil-gaiman,
What a nice newsgroup (What a nice newsgroup)
Bring your fishnets too..."
Smoke & Mirrors forthcoming?
Who owns the Sandman film rights?
And she said: "We are all just FOG's here,
With our own websites.
When we read The Dreaming,
We thought it was the best.
Then some of us visited The Wake
Now we just can't end our quest!"
Last thing I remember,
Everyone was getting groped
I had to post on-topic then
It was my only hope.
"Guess what," said NightWalker,
"I have my own Neil page too."
You can read Neil anytime you like,
But you are NEVER through....
"Welcome to the group alt.fan.neil-gaiman,
Such a lovely night (Such a lovely night)
Such a lovely site....
Plenty of room at the group alt.fan.neil-gaiman,
Any news you hear (Any news you hear)
You can post it here..."
12 Days of Thingiemas - Lady Miss Tree
(Snipped to the twelfth day for convenience)
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
The altfanthingie gave to me,
Twelve-inch keys to hell#,
Eleven west coat signings,
Ten obGaiman references,
Nine recommended authors,
Eight Walker thesis+,
Seven anthropomorphic personifications,
Six con locations,
Five sharp and pointies!
Four guys named Dylan,
Three dreaming mice,
Two other Aus-FOGs,
And a Christmas post from Lady Miss Tree!** These figures may not necessarily be accurate, but they fit well so nyer.
+ Thesises? Thesi? You know what I mean
# Ooooh, goodie!
Time Warp (a la Thingie) - Harvey Lee
LUCIEN: It's astounding - Time is fleeting,
Madness takes it's toll.
But listen closely -
DEATH: Not for very much longer...
LUCIEN: I've got to keep control.
I remember doing the time warp,
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me.
The void would be calling...
ALL: Let's do the time warp again!
Let's do the time warp again!
CHORUS:
DESTINY: It's a jump to the left,
ALL: And then a step to the right...
DESTINY: With your hands on your hips...
ALL: You bring your knees in tight..
TRIO: But it's the pelvic thrust
That starts to drive you insane.
ALL: Let's do the time warp again!
Let's do the time warp again!
DEATH: It's so dreamy - oh Fantasy Free Me
So you can't see me - no not at all.
In another dimension - with voyeuristic intention,
Well secluded - I'll see you all.
With a bit of minded flip - you're there in the time slip.
Nothing can ever be the same.
You're spaced out on sensation
Like you're under sedation.
ALL: Let's do the time warp again!
Let's do the time warp again!
DELERIUM: Well I was walking down the street
Just having a think,
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.
Well it shook me up, it took me by surprise,
He had a pick up truck and the devil's eyes.
Oh - he stared at me and I felt a change.
Time means nothing - never would again.
ALL: Let's do the time warp again!
Let's do the time warp again!
CHORUS REPEAT.
A Happy Birthday to Tree ('99) - Reg
Hippo, birdy, two Tree
Hippo, birdy, two Tree
Hippo, birdy, deer, Tree
Hippo, birdy, Two Tree
And a big hog and a quiche as well.
Gaimananiacs Theme Song - ?? (reposted thx to Tree)
It's time for Gaimananiacs
and they're eerie to the max
but their fans just can't relax
following Neil around in black
they're GaimananiacsCome see the Endless siblings
wandering 'round the Warner lot
They want to get a movie made
their chances are just shot
Up in that ivory tower,
the producers cast their lots
the director's flipped, they have no script, why bother with a plot?They're Gaimananiacs
Del is cute and Desire just smirks
Dream frowns in disapproval,
while Destruction sits and laughs
They're GaimananiacsMeet Death the perky one
who will end your time on earth
Destiny can tell you what your life is truly worth
Despair is such a downer, she'll get you where it hurts
Neil Gaiman is the writer who runs this universe
And AFNG is where you'll see everything but Hello NurseWe're Gaimananiacs
We come here for fan contacts
On an IBM or Mac
we get together and sit back
and read every posting
and learn where Neil's appearing
(here's our group's name-ing)We're Gaimananiacs!
Another song in VERY poor taste - Larry
Goodbye John-John Boy
May your cousins have better sense.
You tried to fly in hazy weather
But you didn't have the right pilot's license.
You bought a new Piper so you'd never be late
You wanted to go to a wedding; play Kennedy games
Now you you're fish bait.
And the debris field spells out your name.And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a plane in windshear:
Never knowing where to turn
When the fog rolled in.
And your Piper will alway be down there,
In Martha's Vineyards bluest waters;
Your plane crashed long before
Your body was ever found.Luggage you've lost;
These Empty Seats without your Wife.
This search we'll always find wreckage
From our favorite Kennedy child.
And even though we fly,
Your stupidity still brings us fears;
That our pilots in rush
Will forget to file their flight plansGoodbye John-John Boy;
May your cousins have better sense.
Another Kennedy gone;
You should've gotten a better pilot's license.
Sing to: Tiny Toons Theme
[Drum roll]
[logo rises out of a animated ocean turmoil like R'lyeh, only different.]
We're slimey, we're Squishy,
We're all a little fishy,
You humans are de-lishy and we're feasting on your brains.We're abysmal creatures,
With gross horrific features,
Against Cthuloid cultists all the good guys go insane!So here is Miskatonic U. where all the creatures dwell,
Take a look at a mythos book and find yourself in hell.
Your guns aren't defective,
They just aren't real effective.
Our feast of human flesh and souls is tasting swell!Your magic and voodoo will not stop great C'thulhu.
Don't eat with the Tchoo Tchoo,
The Migo steal your brain!
Here's Narly, Tsathoggua,
And over there's Cthuga,
Don't forget Ithaqqua, and Hastur hates his name.
So here's Dread R'lyeh where the angles are all wrong.
You'll melt your brain and go insane if you stay here too long.
We're slimey, we're squishy
We're all a little fishy,
Our feast of human flesh and souls is about to start!
(And now we'll eat your heart.)
Harvey Lee Strip Tease - Harvey Lee
<que muzak>
<house lights dim>
<strobelights flash>
<mirrorball light engulfs the room>
<fake fog crawls along the runway>
<velvet curtain opens>
<spotlight shines on Harvey, dressed in a policeman's uniform>
<saunters down the runway>
<stops and sways hips back-and-forth to the beat>
<6' brasspole rises from end of runway>
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
Ladies night at Donna's.
Working after hours.
Ripples on my chest,
never got a nights rest.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
A modern day Jack.
A jock with an act.
Hey Lolita touch me,
squeeze me.
Ooo...
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
Ahhh...
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
Built like a truck.
I'd bump for a buck.
Tips in my G-string,
made my living.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
In hot cop drag.
In another man's stag.
Dressed to tease him,
strip to sleaze 'im.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
Strip for me babe.
Strip for you.
Strip for me 'cause,
I want you to.
Strip for me babe.
Strip for you.
Strip for me 'cause,
I want you to.
Strip for me babe.
Strip for you.
Strip for me 'cause,
I want you to.
Strip for me babe.
Strip for you.
Strip for me 'cause,
I want you to.
<struts over to Michelle and frisks her>
<sashy to Morgana and reads her her rights, while straddling her lap>
<grabs Tree by the hand and slaps cuffs onto wrist>
<takes Tree to the brasspole>
<cuffs Tree to pole>
<many gyrations>
<many bumping>
<many grinding>
<takes belt off>
<takes Tree's hand in mine and rubs chest>
<rips shirt off>
<moves hair from Tree's ear>
<licks Tree's ear>
<stands facing away from audience, feet shoulder width apart>
<bends forward>
<hands on pant cuffs>
<stands up pulling at breakaway pants revealing leather G-string>
<Tree unlocks cuffs with key found behind ear>
<feet spread apart ending in splits>
<flexes right butt cheek>
<flexes left butt cheek>
<rolled up tube socks are thrown on stage>
<stuffs tube socks into front of G-string>
<turns to face audience>
<proceeds to do 20 push-ups>
<then 10 one handed push-ups per hand, with pelvic thrust on downstroke>
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
Strip for me babe.
Strip for you.
Strip for me 'cause,
I want you to.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
Ladies night at Donna's.
Working after hours.
Ripples on my chest,
never got a nights rest.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
A modern day Jack.
A jock with an act.
Hey Lolita touch me,
squeeze me.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
Ooo...
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
Ssss...
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I'm built like a truck.
I'd bump for a buck.
Tips in my G-string,
made my living.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
In hot cop drag.
In another man's stag.
Dressed to tease him,
strip to please 'im.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
<stands up>
<places hat in front of crotch>
<unfastens G-string>
<tube socks fall>
<swings G-string around head and flings into audience>
<walks over to Tree>
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
I was a male stripper in a stripper bar.
<leans forward>
<gives Tree peck on cheek>
<places hat on Tree's head>
<stands straight>
<fake fog rolls in>
<lights dim>
McKean and Gaim - Lucy Anne and Luna
LA: who has had the theme to Pinky and the Brain running thru her head with the words McKean and Gaim being substituted for Pinky and Brain. "What are we going to do tonight, Neil?" "Same thing we do every night, Dave. Try to take over the world" Help me.)
L: Well, you started it...
They're McKean and Gaim,
Yes, they're McKean and Gaim.
One draws the pictures,
The other explains.
They're skilled in different art,
They're rarely seen apart.
They're McKean, McKean and Gaim.
Before each cover's through,
Dave makes a special wish,
But it's tragic and true:
Neil simply can't write fish!
They're McKean and Gaim,
Yes, they're McKean and Gaim.
They've both got talent
And moderate fame.
They write and illustrate,
And Endlessly create.
They're McKean, McKean and Gaim...
Harvey "Shaft" Lee - Harvey Lee
Who's the ronin without a cause, that's a sex machine to all the Thingies?
Harv!
You damn right.
Who is the man that would risk his neck for brother man?
Harv!
Can you dig it?
Who's the cat that won't cop out, when there's danger all about?
Harv!
Right on.
They say this cat Harv is a bad mutha...Shut yo' mouth!
But I'm talking about Harv.
We can dig it.
He's a complicated man, but no one understands him but his women.
Harvey Lee!
(to the tune of "Bad Bad Leroy Brown")
Now somewhere out on Usenet
It's the bestest part of the day
When you log on to AFNG there,
To find out what they’ve got to say
Now Ivory now he's trouble
But he’s got good taste in tee’s
All the ladies wait for tuesday
The studs they call him: "Tease"
Yeah they’re odd, odd Thingie’s now
Sickest people on the whole damn net
More Perverted then Marv Alpert
And grossier then a 7 year old
Now Walker he's a Scotsman
And he likes his fancy clothes
He likes to wave Angus his big broadsword
Under every troll’s nose
He's got a digital camera
He's got an the Duran Duran book too
He's got a Bowie in his pocket for fun
He's got Caterpiller’s on his shoes
Yeah they’re odd, odd Thingie’s now
Sickest people on the whole damn net
More Perverted then Marv Alpert
And grossier then a 7 year old
Now Friday - 'bout 6 months ago
Thingies shootin' pool
And with a cue in her hand, Margret
was running the table,
A drink in her hand.
And Then after she beat Charlie
That's when the big scene began
And Morgana she learned a lesson 'bout messin'
With the drink of a tarot reading woman
(Yeah) they’re odd, odd Thingie’s now
Sickest people on the whole damn net
More Perverted then Marv Alpert
And grosser then a 7 year old
Misunderstood lyrics - many many poor thingies...
bafog1: -MM & the ME
who is referring to closer, but can't get over the silliness at someone's request for the 'fuck the animals' song...NightSnake: LOL ;) I've heard it all now.
I thought it was bad enough when someone asked for "Explosion" by the Sisters of Mercy.... "You know.... 'Hey now, hey now now, bring the Explosion, baby.....'"Sally: A friend of mine honestly thought the lyrics were, "Hey now, hey noni noni, sing mixed emotions to me". I laughed rather a lot. Although my favourite misheard lyric is "Temple Aardvark" by Sisters of Mercy. :)
Natalie: My personal favourite is "Fuck the Tennis Ball".
Otherwise known as... "Rock the Casbah".Reg: And who could forget the eighties bubblegum classic "Alex the Seal" by the Go Gos?